Updated: Aug 11
You know you're being bullied when several of these apply to your relationship:
1. The person doesn't seem to care about your feelings. They may continue a problematic behavior even after you've asked them to stop.
2. You often feel confused by their behavior and attitudes.
3. You suspect they only want to be around you when it suits them.
4. Interactions with them can cause you to doubt your own feelings and opinions.
5. You feel they are being manipulative with you.
6. They may intentionally try to push your buttons because they know your vulnerabilities. For example, they may try to make you feel crazy then tell you there's something wrong with you.
7. You often feel disrespected, neglected, insulted or abused.
8. Their actions don’t match their words and they rarely, if ever, apologize sincerely.
9. You sense they are intentionally trying to make you feel bad about yourself.
10. You feel they're jealous of your other relationships. They may actively try to undermine your relationships with others.
11. They try to isolate you from people you love, or may denigrate your family or friends without cause.
12. They act like they're smarter or superior to you and you should do whatever they say. In other words, they can be condescending and very CONTROLLING.
13. You often feel angry, sad, or afraid around them.
14. They appear to lack genuine empathy.
15. They appear selfish, perhaps lazy, and often take more than they give.
16. They have an excuse for everything and can twist facts around with ease.
17. They are great at blame-shifting, playing the victim and making you the 'bad guy.'
18. They project their own negative attributes onto you.
19. You often feel exhausted by mind games and drama.
20. You feel used and/or taken for granted.
21. You are afraid to tell them how you really feel; you may suppress your feelings because it’s not worth the battle to challenge them.
22. They are often difficult to talk to, often shutting down your complaints with angry escalations of tension, intense arguments or threatening behavior.
23. They tell you you’re too sensitive and overreact to too many things.
24. They pass off their rude behavior as “just joking.”
25. They treat you differently around other people and often treat you much worse when you're alone with them. For example, they put on an "act" around others to make themselves appear more charming and appropriate.
***If several of these apply to a significant relationship in your life, please get help from a professional. The above tactics can be features of Narcissistic Abuse. Narcissistic personalities are capable of DESTROYING people's lives! Bullying is ABUSE and can be extremely detrimental to your mental health and quality of life. We all deserve respect and to feel safe in our closest relationships. Take good care of yourself and know change and healing are possible for you.